Calm?

I'm still too young! Mentally.

I get angry when the securityguard yell at villiage people because they are new to this city; I get angry when I see a nicely dressed guy who seems well educated spit on the floor with no heistation; I get angry when an old lady standing in the crowded subway and the young people who sit right there just ignore her existence; I get angry when the water bottle is empty but no men in the office volunteer to change it.

What I do to burn out my anger is I tell myself I'm a well educated woman and a perfect adult, I can identify what is right what is wrong. I never yell at villiage people because they did something adnormal in the city. They will soon get used to the city life. Why should we be harsh on someone who's not experienced in the field? I never spit on street or public. I just can't! It's ugly and disgusting. Real lady or gentleman would never do that. I always give my seat to old people and little kids if I see them in the public. Not because I wish people would do the same to me when I get old but I don't want them to break their legs or arms. I lift up a 19Kg water bottle and replace it on a 1.5meters high dispenser. It doesn't require much strength to a man but a woman. The whole Chinese men misundertood the equality between men and women!

Well, I'm still angery about things that don't affect me and I think I'll be that way for a long time. I'll try not to be botherd and grow mature.

Is it hard?

It's frustrating that you have to get up early every morning and rash to work. It's upsetting that you have to "hug" the strangers like hugging your family in subway. It's just so furious that you have to walk over all kinds of shapes of SPIT after you got up early and going to "hug the family ".

Is it so hard for you to spit in a piece of tissue paper or a plastic bag?Is it so hard for you to clean your nose and throat before you go out? Is it so hard for you to understand how unhygienic to spit around? Is it so hard for you to see how ugly that "scenery" is?

Why DON'T you spit in your own house?

YUCK......

Fake

It's almost Christmas.
Last night one of my friend from a training school I have studied before sent me message asked me if I had any plan for Christmas. I said nope. She asked why? I said because I'm none Christain. She was laughing and said Never mind.
I'm a hindu. At least I think I'm a hindu and I want to be a hindu. It's pure emotion because I adore the hinduism spirit. It's philosophy guid me to the direction that I think is right. I don't expect to use my belief to get any material good for myself.
There are certain kind of people. They got chance to know about Christianity and are convinced to become a Christain though they don't understand the spirit and heart of Christ. They see what they can get out of being a Christain materially. For example, get a good job through another Christain. Or be feeded for free all the time because of "helpless". If you ask them what is Jesus Christ? What is Christainity? What's in it? Don't expect them to give you answer right away because they don't know. The whole point to be a Christain is that they can get something good for themselve. They are CLEVER enough to use Christainity as a tool to talk in high-sounding tone and act like animal. I bet there is no sense of honor or of shame from their mind! I call those FAKE CHRISTAINS!
Unfortunately most of the Christains I know are FAKE. They always say one thing do another. I do understand why they act this way and I do pity them to be unworthy as a honorable human being.
I guess God knows about this already but he's god that he has to forgive them. Well, God bless them-_-'

It doesn't make you different

She has always tried to be special, be different. Overall she's just an ordinary human-being. She joined as many sport games as possible in junior high to distinguish herself from those cliche girls. Participate radio shows, rock band shows, create her own mucis CD and made no friends pretended to be cool. Unfortunately she's never good at what she supposed to be good at - being a student. Whatever she tries she just has to drop it off eventually. She's never special.

But she never stops trying. Now she tries to be special by having a splendid job, holding a housing certificate in Beijing, having a luxury life among those common friends and speaks excellent English. One day everyone has what she has, she's confused. It seems everyone is trying to be special just like her and everyone tried the same way just like her. What else can she do to make her different.

Yes, get married. Marry with a foreigner. Not Americans, not French, not Germans. It's too common to marry with Europeans. She marries with an Indian. That's like something that would never happen. She's proud not only because he's an foreigner but also he's an Indian. He's smart, he's funny, he's considerate, he's generous. He seems having all merits that no women wouldn't mention as their spouses. She's special again. Is she special?

No, she's never special. She's just she, one of those who wants to be special but never is. He's particularity won't make she different. It just doesn't make her different!

She will not stop trying to be special. She will always be special to herself.

Wish her dream would come true!

My "boring" life...

Looking at the title I'm a bit confused what I suppose to write.

I guess I was gonna complain about how boring my life is. Suddenly I figured that's not fair. My life isn't boring. Though I don't have much to do during work and that's critical to my personal growth I still get many chances to focus on other things. Learn about mutual fund; learn about "realistates"(I suppose it's a wrong spelling); getting graduate dissertation done; learn how to work with engineers only; learn how to do work out effectively; learn how to do interviews; learn about decoration; research on India trip......

People around are very busy. I'm free to do anything I like as long as it doesn't bother others. You may say WOW, that's a wonder job. I think so if I had to work a lot and have some time to rest. I bet you wouldn't think the same way if you don't have anything to do for always:)

It's just moanning. Never mind.

Hallo

Just want to say Hallo to myself for the first post:)
Hopefully I can keep my word and post jurnal everyday. It might be a good idea to choose a topic once a while.
Good night, it's China Beijing 6:35pm